Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Approaching Burn Out

With my personal life falling apart, I've thrown myself 110% into work. However, now that's starting to get to me. I agreed to go in an hour early tomorrow (planning on leaving an hour early), but then got suckered into agreeing to stay until my regular time. I also need to pick up scripts from a doctor's office which doesn't open until after I get to work and closes before I leave. So I have to go out during the day (putting miles on my car) to pick up the scripts. I get paid for 7 hours a day. That's it. I'm salaried for 35 hours per week. No overtime. I have to work 8 hour days, but they take an hour out for lunch. My hour lunch break today consisted of eating an apple I had in my bag for a few days while I sat at my desk and did paperwork. The other nurse I work with has pneumonia, so my 9 hour day tomorrow will not likely include an hour lunch break. Maybe I can go pick up those scripts on my "lunch break" then get back to my desk.
But when I'm not super crazy at work, I feel like I'm actually going crazy thinking about my personal life. I put off dealing with anything by allowing work to consume all of my energy.
But no energy left over is starting to drive me crazy. There were a few weeks when I could only relax with a drink and or a smoke, but I have realized that self destructive behaviors will actually not help my situation.
But I am completely fatigued, constantly have a headache and I have a number of unexplained bruises.
The fatigue is really strange, though. I am so tired all the time. I feel like I could fall asleep driving or standing up or on the phone. But when I lay down at night, my head is going 100 miles a minute.
I'm going to Boston this weekend. It's Family Weekend at Bre's school. And I'm hoping to hang out with my friends Saturday night. Maybe a little vacation is exactly what I need...

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